Chapter Three: Acknowledgement

*~*~*

Tatsuha's first impression of the inside of the premise was that it felt like a home. The walls were painted with warm and cheerful colours, various drawings were scattered and pinned up randomly on the bulletin boards. They were obviously drawn by small children, and Tatsuha couldn't help but smile at the cute drawing of a boy flying towards the moon in a space shuttle.

He was startled when he was suddenly pulled into a dark room and someone shovelled a pile of clothes into his hands.

"Go get changed right now! They're waiting for us already!" said a middle age woman wearing a pair of thick, round glasses and a very colourful sweater. Her voice was loud and clear. Although she wasn't wearing an apron, Tatsuha could just imagine her baking cookies for her kids in the kitchen.

"But � I � who � what's going on?" Blinking, Tatsuha allowed himself to be pushed inside the changing room next door.

"Sakuma-san brought you here right?"

"Well, I guess you can say that � but � what does it have to do with �?"

"There is no time for questions now! Just hurry!"

Her words carried an air of authority that Tatsuha felt compelled to obey her. Sighing, he gave a closer look at the clothes.

It was an animal outfit, one that resembled a bear to be exact, complete with claws made from brown cotton cloth and a headpiece with small, round ears. It was very cute; but under no circumstances would he like to wear it in front of his friends. Not to mention that he had absolutely no idea what was going on.

Putting on the costume quickly, Tatsuha reflected with a sinking heart that it might be karmic punishment for him to stalk Ryuichi.

*~*~*

Tatsuha couldn't see very well underneath the headpiece. He had to be led by the lady in the glasses into the next room. He could still breathe and move around, but that was about all the movement his costume would allow him to accomplish. He finally understood how the Tokyo Disneyland employees felt when they were pretending to be friendly, giant animals in the amusement park on a hot summer day.

He was quite taken back when he encountered a room filled with about a dozen of young kids, sitting eerily quiet around an animated Ryuichi in the middle. He was wearing the bunny costume that he seemed to be extremely fond of again. Holding up Kumagoro in his left hand as if it were a puppet, Ryuichi narrated in a boyish voice.

"So Peter Pan said, 'let's come to the Neverland again soon! We'll miss you!'" Ryuichi illustrated the story by imitating a bird and flopped his hands up and down as if he could suddenly float in the midair. The children, strangely enough, didn't give too much of an eager response to Ryuichi's lively acting and interesting story.

However, Ryuichi didn't seem to be bothered by the lack of response. He smiled and swung Kumagoro around, "but of course, when children grew up, they can't go back to the Neverland. So Tinker Bell smashed Peter Pan on his head and said, 'Wendy and the boys can't come back anymore. So this is good-bye forever!'"

The children seemed to be bothered by this statement, but they didn't protest loudly. A few of them frowned in silence. Ryuichi smiled at the gang of them, "but of course, as long as you don't grow up, you can always go back!"

Suddenly recognizing Tatsuha's presence, Ryuichi stopped his storytelling and squeaked, "here's Kuma-san, the bear! He's a friend of Kumagoro here, so everyone says hi to him!"

A few kids raised their heads and nodded at Tatsuha. The bear, having no idea about what he should do, waved back awkwardly.

"Enough stories already! Let's sing a song together!" Ryuichi proclaimed while he pulled Tatsuha inside the centre of the circle. He picked up a guitar sitting nearby and started singing:

Oh, rabbit on the moon, What are you leaping for? I shall leap, I shall leap soon At the large full moon!

"Hey, come on, let's sing and dance, everyone!" Ryuichi, nodding to Tatsuha, signalled for him to lead the dance.

Tatsuha started dancing in a way that he thought was bear-like. Stepping up and down, going left and right, he raised his hands and feet clumsily and slowly as Ryuichi continued to sing the Rabbit Song. The children watched him with interest, though all of them still remained seated.

Seeing that he had captured everyone's attention, Tatsuha started to jump up and down like he was doing aerobics. Ryuichi, with laugher in his eyes, sang even louder in his thick, deep voice.

Suddenly, Tatsuha the bear fell down onto the floor, tripping on the costume. The kids winced in pain; one of them ran towards him and helped him get up.

Tatsuha shook his head and said, "Kuma-san is okay, really! He's just trying too hard to leap to the full moon and catch the bunny!"

Ryuichi put down his guitar and he looked at Tatsuha with concern, "Awww, big Kuma-san is hurt! Kumagoro says his friend should rest a bit over at the bench so he won't get a big bump on his bear bum tomorrow!"

"Your wish is my command, Sakuma-san," Tatsuha said, patting the little girl's head once before he dragged his body to the bench.

Not daring to remove his headpiece, he sat down and watched Ryuichi singing with the kids. He seemed very different from the superstar that performed on stage. When he was singing with Noriko and Tohma as a member of Nittle Grasper, he was sex incarnate. Usually dressed in clothes that were meant to reveal, not to cover up his body, Ryuichi was irresistible and a dream that was too unreachable for all his fans. He was beautiful and sexy, like a shining star in the sky, which one admired from far away and ogled with awe. His voice would bring you into a fantasy world that you wished you would never wake up from it.

However, he was like a big child himself when he was singing with the kids. His presence in the group felt natural and comfortable, and Tatsuha could see that the kids simply accepted him as one of them. Ryuichi was lively when sitting inside the circle; his eyes lit and sparkled with happiness, and his musical voice was like silver bells ringing at the touch of the wind. Tatsuha watched this brand new Sakuma Ryuichi with admiration and amazement.

It felt as if Ryuichi were a real person, not some unreachable digital god. For the first time Tatsuha felt as if he had a chance with this new Ryuichi.

"He's wonderful, isn't he?" said the lady in glasses when she sat down beside Tatsuha.

"Yes, he's completely amazing!" squealed Tatsuha.

"Can you imagine my surprise when he came to our centre one day and said he wanted to sing for the kids at no cost?" the lady shook her head in disbelief, "the world famous Sakuma Ryuichi! His only wish was for us not to tell anyone about his involvement with the centre, which I was most happy to abide."

Tatsuha had a newfound respect for Ryuichi. He thought most rock stars were obsessed with money, like his brother-in-law Seguchi Tohma was. But then Tatsuha could tell that Ryuichi was very different from Tohma, even though they were band mates.

"Most kids here aren't like normal kids," the lady said, "some of them suffer from schizophrenia, some from autism, and some we still haven't figured out yet."

Tatsuha wasn't familiar with the subject area. So he kept his silence.

"However, most of them have reacted positively when they are singing and playing with Sakuma-san. He makes a wonderful musical therapist. Usually you need a university degree to become one, but as you can see, he's a natural in the area."

Tatsuha could only nodded in agreement. He knew nothing about music therapy, but he could that the kids were happy with Ryuichi's company. He watched in interest when Ryuichi brought out some drums and triangles and let the children play along.

"Can Kuma-san join again?" Tatsuha yelled across the room.

Ryuichi smiled and waved his stuffed toy around eagerly, "sure, Kumagoro says maybe you and him can perform a bear-bunny competition!"

Bowing deeply and raising his claws in a most comical way, the bear man rushed over to join his idol and the children again.

*~*~*

Tatsuha was very tired by the time he had finished seeing all the children off. Ryuichi was still bouncy and hyper. Tatsuha had to wonder where the man got his energy.

Sitting on a wooden chair inside the changing room and resting, Ryuichi was still giddy over the past few hours. The room was stuffy and dim and there was furniture and clothing everywhere on the floor.

"Kuma-san, thanks for coming today and helping us out! Do you think you can come again next week? The children simply adore you!"

Tatsuha looked at his reflection, as well as the bunny man behind him, from the mirror on the wall. He felt suffocated and sweaty inside the suit after all the jumping around he had done. However, he was still afraid to take off his headpiece. They had fun together during the game, but what if Ryuichi was mad about seeing him again? Ryuichi had seemed very detached when he had left him in front of the Karaoke bar several nights ago.

"Of course, I'd love to come again, Sakuma-san," said Tatsuha, "but I think you might change your mind very soon."

Tatsuha watched Ryuichi blink in confusion from the mirror and sighed. Putting Kumagoro on his head and trying to balance it without success, Ryuichi asked, "why? I don't understand �"

Tatsuha banged his head lightly against the mirror. Ryuichi got up, and put a concerned hand on the boy's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Kuma-san? Tell me, I want to help!"

Slowly turning around and putting some distance between himself and the man Tatsuha pushed away the hand gently.

Tatsuha wanted to throw a fit to show that everything was wrong. He wanted to know why Ryuichi brushed him off. He wanted to hug Ryuichi's legs and asked for his forgiveness, because he couldn't bear thinking that he had displeased his God in any ways. He also wanted to laugh with Ryuichi again; he remembered how dazzling and unguarded Ryuichi's smile looked when he was with the kids. He wanted to see that Ryuichi again.

But Tatsuha ended up doing nothing. He couldn't settle on anything that would properly express how he felt.

It was about time that he revealed himself. Cinderella had to leave the prince when the magic disappeared at midnight. He wondered how Ryuichi would react when Kuma-san turned back into the normal, boring and commonplace Tatsuha again.

'Well, here we go nothing,' Tatsuha thought.

Tittering to himself, he took off his bear headpiece. He tidied his mussed hair with his furry claw, wanting to appear his best in front of the unmoving man.

Finally, Tatsuha settled for staring at Ryuichi, unblinking. He didn't want to look anywhere else but Ryuichi's honey-coloured eyes; the pair of eyes that Tatsuha had been after for the longest time.

Ryuichi did nothing to avoid the direct gaze.

"That's the reason why you probably don't want Kuma-san here again." Tatsuha's voice echoed in the small changing room.

Suddenly strike by a realization after looking at the strange yet familiar face for a few moments, Ryuichi's eyes widened in surprise. He backed away several steps, until his feet hit one of the boxes lying on the floor. He didn't seem to realize the box was there though. He collapsed onto the wooden chair behind him at last, Kumagoro dropped and forgotten..

"You're � Uesugi � Tatsuha �"



To be continued �

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Author note: I just have to insert the Peter Pan reference from my standalone Ryuichi story To Neverland. ^^;;; This story isn't related to it in any ways though.

I'm finally done with the setting and characterization and boring literature stuff (it took me three chapters to do so). The plot will move a lot faster starting next chapter and I can start writing the good stuff!

For more information about music therapy, click here.

If you hear the rabbit song in Japanese (yes, it's a real song), you can download it here.